


Domestic Bliss

by AnAngryRat



Category: The Avengers (Marvel) - All Media Types
Genre: Domestic Bliss, Domestic Fluff, Fluff, Fluff and Humor, M/M
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-10-22
Updated: 2020-10-22
Packaged: 2021-03-08 17:08:56
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 8,404
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/27150224
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/AnAngryRat/pseuds/AnAngryRat
Summary: Bucky and Clint happen to be at the same SHIELD approved safehouse in the midst of Californian suburbia. Neither of them are prepared for nosy neighbors or awkward jogs in the park.
Relationships: James "Bucky" Barnes/Clint Barton
Comments: 3
Kudos: 62





	Domestic Bliss

Bucky jolted to consciousness once the lyft driver stopped. He’d been up for over seventy-two hours and he needed to crash at the SHIELD safehouse yesterday. He got up and rolled out of the car with a few short words to the Middle Eastern man that was his driver. He covered his eyes from the sun and looked around. Mountain Avenue was very white. Newly paved and stop signs on every street corner. He was in a suburb, there was a school where children were shouting in play to each other, and lawns in front of a variety of houses. The safehouse was teal. It was teal and white. Bucky hadn’t seen something so gay in a long while. He wandered over his bag slung over his shoulder. When he reached the white printed door. He laid his head on it and yawned. He was supposed to be at the house for the next few months once his…discretionary action in **REDACTED** had blown over and he could return to the Avengers. He missed the keyhole twice. Distantly he heard barking. The door unlocked and opened. Bucky pulled himself up just in time his shoulders tensing.

“Uhm…”

Bucky blinked up at Clint Barton. They never really crossed paths often. Unless that path involved Natasha, it didn’t really matter. Here he was. Looking sheepish behind the door of what was supposed to be a safe house.

“Compromised?” Bucky murmured.

“Naw, I stole the address with out Fury noticing.” Clint said.

“Compromised?” Bucky asked again leaning against the door jam.

Jeopardy music played while Clint’s face wrinkled in confusion. “No! No one knows I’m here.”

“Vacation?”

“Off the grid.”

Bucky nodded and brushed past Clint. He saw the couch and fell on it dropping his bag to the ground.

“Uhm…Don’t you want a bed?”

Bucky groaned but got up. A large Doberman came up to him his claws clicking against the hardwood. “I don’t know if I could sleep with those colors behind my eyelids.” Bucky grumbled scratching the dog behind its head. 

Clint looked seriously at the floral-patterned couch. “Yeah, I could see that.” He gestured for Bucky to follow him. They went down a narrow hallway with four connecting rooms and a bathroom. Clint opened the door to the master bedroom. “Sorry, dude, I renovated the other rooms, so they aren’t bedrooms anymore.”

Bucky barely nodded before crashing onto the bed and snoring blissfully into sleep sweet sleep.

Bucky woke up sweaty and smelling of animal. He looked over his shoulder to find the Doberman snoring into Clint’s bareback and Clint snoring into his pillow. Bucky pulled out his burner phone and checked the time. He’d slept nearly eighteen hours. It had been a long time since he had felt safe enough to pull that off. Bucky laid his head back down and felt gross. His clothes were wet with sweat and several days old. He rolled out of bed and both the dog and Clint grunted before their snores continued. Bucky got up and stripped before wandering completely naked into the master bath. He stretched himself and took a piss before getting into the shower. The water pressure was awful but at least it was hot and cleansing. He scrubbed his face and did a quick soap down checking the shower for a razor. He found one and saw it was relatively rusty. Wrinkling his nose, he cleaned it out with his metallic hand and sharpened the blades quickly.

Twenty minutes later he walked out of the small bathroom clean and shaven. He wrapped a purple towel around his hips and dragged one of the pink towels over his hair. Clint had an eclectic taste in color it seemed. The door creaked behind him as he wandered into the bedroom and started looking through the piles of black and gray SHIELD bought Henley’s mixed with Clint’s brightly colored clothing. He found a shirt and began putting it on when he heard a choking sound behind him.

He slipped on the shirt the rest of the way on and raised an eyebrow at Clint and the dog who were both staring at him.

“What?” Bucky asked dropping the towel and pulling on his boxer briefs then a pair of jeans.

Clint coughed. “You’re staying?”

“I see no need to move location Agent Barton.” Bucky answered.

“Ah,” Clint said. Bucky heard the bed sheets shifting and turned fully dressed. He didn’t realize that Clint slept bare and the man seemed embarrassed.

“What?”

“The dog’s name is Boogaloo.”

“What.”

“Because he’s Lucky 2.” Clint said pulling the sheets around his hips.

“Your dog died?”

“You knew about Lucky?”

“Yeah…” Bucky had broken into the apartment several times to pet the dog and feed it pizza. He was surprised Kate hadn’t told Clint. Bucky ran a self-conscious hand through his hair before he heard sniffling. He glanced up and Clint had dropped the blanket and was now curled around Boogaloo sobbing into the big brown and black Doberman mix. Now that Bucky thought about it he was huge. Had to be a mixed breed. Maybe a Great Dane.

“Uh…” Bucky said sidling out of the room. “I’m sorry.” He called over his shoulder escaping into the hallway. He had never seen a SHIELD agent so open and depressed. He also hasn’t seen a human not Steve emit that strong of emotion since he was in the barracks over ninety years ago.

Clint came out later when Bucky was sitting at the kitchen island drinking coffee and waiting for the oven to ding with the bacon and eggs he was making.

“Food?” Clint asked rubbing his still red eyes. He now had on Star Wars print sweats. Bucky took a sip.

“Yeah.”

“Can I?”

“Yeah.”

Clint sat across from him with a little Hawkeye mug in front of him. They were quiet drinking their coffee. The oven dinged and Bucky pulled out the bacon and eggs splitting it between himself and Clint.

Clint took the plate and shoved the food around. “Have you met the neighbors?”

“I just woke up.” Bucky said. “I need to keep a low profile so talking to the neighbors seems unwise.”

“They’ll find you. Especially the ones with the Christmas lights.”

“It’s October.”

“They were there in July, I don’t think they ever take them down.”

“Ah.”

“The Russians will show off their sports cars.”

Bucky’s jaw tensed. “Russians?”

Clint waved his hand. “Ultra-conservatives. I don’t think they’re spies.”

“I can’t stay.”

Clint groaned. “No, dude don’t leave.”

“I just did some very illegal projects recently and I can’t stay.”

“They only come out in the evening.” Clint said grabbing Bucky’s shirt. “Com’on at least meet the crazy people next door.”

Scraping against the back door cut off their conversation.

“Boogaloo needs a run. Wanna come?” Clint said looking excited.

“Yeah.” Bucky’s lips said with out permission from his head.

They found themselves at a muddy little park with a janky path. “This isn’t nearly long enough,” Bucky muttered stretching.

“Just wait… If the little chubby lady with the chihuahua’s here we’ll get a free meal. Maybe she finished my gloves.” Clint replied.

“What name are you using?” Bucky asked.

“Carl Barkman.”

“Did you seriously name yourself after Cartman?”

Clint laughed high and joyous. “Naw. Just a coincidence.” Clint said starting them off at a light jog.

“What name are you using?”

“Tanner Kressler.”

“Nice. What’s our relationship?”

Boogaloo ran past them to chase after a squirrel before coming back to run with them.

“Cousins?” Bucky asked, reaching out to pat Boogaloo.

Clint snorted. “That won’t work.”

“Roommates.”

“Maybe, let’s practice it.”

Bucky looked at Clint only to catch him speeding up with Boogaloo Bucky sprinted after them grumbling about how it was unfair that Clint had longer legs. He caught up with them and found him talking to a very round very energetic woman. Bucky stopped next to them as the lady pulled out a pair of gloves from a small bag hung around her wrists.

“Amy!” Clint squealed. “You shouldn’t have.”

He leaned in and gave her a hug, while Boogaloo stared at the two chihuahua’s losing their fucking minds beside the lady.

“It was no problem.” Amy said a smile warming her face. Her hands moved quickly knitting while Clint pulled her into another hug.

Bucky stood next to Boogaloo also looking at the chihuahua’s…or chihuahua and a very small puppy….

“Who’s this?” Amy asked pulling away. “You’re boyfriend?”

Clint smiled standing next to Bucky and wrapping an arm around his shoulders. “Yeah, this is Tanner he started his month-long visit yesterday.” Clint gave Bucky a small kiss on his temple. Bucky felt his entire soul leave his body.

“Nice to meet you, Tanner.” She said sticking out a round soft hand. Bucky took it and put on his ‘friendly smile’. Steve said it was the most unnatural thing the universe, but he has never gotten caught outside of that for being so fake.

“Hey,” he said shaking her hand with his right and double checking that yes the left was all covered up.

“You two are adorable. Have a nice run.”

“Think you can give us a ride back?”

“I don’t have oreo’s Carl.” Amy said dryly.

Clint gave her puppy eyes. She rolled her eyes. “Fine, I’ll see you by my car when we’re done.”

She hobbled away and Clint began his jog gently pushing Bucky away with a hand on the small of his back. “What the fuck?” Bucky muttered when they were out of ear shot.

Clint hummed. “We’re going to get McDonalds.”

“Did you tell her that you had a boyfriend?”

Clint laughed awkwardly. “I had a tinder meet up and she saw someone walking in….”

“And now…”

“We were on a break, but you finally decided to visit from New York so maybe we can rekindle our relationship.”

Bucky refrained from pinching his nose. “How close are you with these people?”

“I babysit on long weekends when their eldest daughter can’t.”

“Jesus fuck. I can’t stay Clint.” Bucky groaned.

“What’s she gonna do? Blow your cover to the CIA? She’s a gay romance author. Her search history already involves all the Avengers and various ways to murder people.”

Bucky frowned. “Carl.”

“Tanner.”

Bucky sped up and Boogaloo sped up with him. “We’ll be sleeping in the same bed anyway,” Bucky grumbled as Clint yelled to try and catch up.

The mini-van was cramped and Bucky was forced to sit next to all three dogs. One was on the floor cowering and the other was gnawing on Boogaloo’s ear. Amy and Clint chatted about some show they both watched on Amazon-Prime. Bucky slouched in the back and kept his hands in his pockets. He wanted to go home. There was a lot of things going on in the van, dog leashes, water bottles, bags, shoes, stains, crumbs. Bucky almost preferred the sterile SHIELD rooms he usually spent his time in.

“Would you like anything?” Amy asked turning around. They were in a drive thru.

“No thank you,” Bucky mumbled slinking further into his seat. When was the last time he was in a social situation that wasn’t an obstacle to completing a mission? Bucky didn’t know but he felt exposed and he almost wanted to crawl in next to the scared chihuahua under the car seats.

Amy smiled and turned around to talk into the speaker. Clint turned around while she was distracted to look at him. The smallest scrappiest dog jumped in Bucky’s lap. Bucky clung to it like a lifeline holding it in one hand and scratching it with the other. Clint’s brows furrowed. ‘You okay?’ he mouthed. Bucky flipped up his hoodie and slunk down further in his seat. Boogaloo laid down half his body across Bucky’s lap calming him a little. Clint put a comforting hand on Bucky’s leg. The pressure was good and when Clint squeezed his knee. Bucky felt a release of tension. He still felt it between his shoulders, but it wasn’t overwhelming. Amy turned back with food. Their conversation started again, and Bucky saw that Clint had put on the gloves. They had little Hawkeye symbols on them. Bucky’s been compromised. He has to go.

When they got home, Bucky went immediately to the bedroom and started repacking his luggage. Clint followed him after letting Boogaloo out.

“You’re leaving.”

“Compromised. This place has too many eyes.” Bucky muttered.

Clint crouched next to Bucky and laid a hand over his own restless one. “How long have you been away from civilians?”

Bucky didn’t answer but Clint nodded anyway. “Okay.” He said weaving their fingers together. “Breathe.”

Bucky inhaled and Clint instructed him to exhale. “You can stay in the house. You don’t have to talk with Amy next time.”

“I’m com—”

“No, you’re not.” Clint held up his gloves. “She knows I’m a Hawkeye fan and asked if I wanted his logo.”

Bucky looked over Clint then noticed that he’d changed his hearing aids. Bucky thought he’d had surgery but no they’d changed to tiny skin colored things. Clint’s hair was also dyed several shades darker than usual and he was purposefully wearing pink.

Bucky looked more like the Winter Soldier than Clint did Hawkeye.

“Breathe.”

Bucky did. “I need to work out.”

“Okay.” Clint stood up pulling Bucky with him. “I can show you the renovations I made.”

Clint had taken out a wall between two rooms and turned it into a small but effective archery range and made the final untouched room a workout room with various running machines and weights. Those rooms became Bucky’s sanctuary. He spent most of his time there building a routine. After a week, the routine became bland and Bucky needed to leave the house. Clint was out having written on a small white board he left on the fridge for notes to Bucky, just the word “coefffee.” Boogaloo was in the backyard looking pitifully at him through the glass door. Bucky sighed and then opened the back door grabbing the rarely used leash. Maybe going for a run would be a good idea.

The run led them to the park and unfortunately Amy was hobbling with her very energetic dogs. She smiled and waved at him and Bucky felt the overwhelming need to pretend to be the perfect boyfriend. He stopped with a smile and said ‘hi’.

“How’s your run going?” she asked holding the two little dogs that were frothing in their need to bark at Boogaloo.

Bucky ran an actual marathon on the treadmill in Clint’s home earlier this morning. “Very well.” He answered.

Amy looked around dramatically. “I’m really glad your back from tour. Carl was very depressed without you.” She whispered.

“Yeah?” Bucky said unsure how to respond.

“I was just so surprised that he was dating someone. He’s incredibly promiscuous.”

Bucky suddenly had flashes of Clint bent over the bed they had been sleeping in together for a solid week. It was unnecessarily lewd. The bed wasn’t even a problem, Boogaloo was their bed divide. It worked great. Just because he’d woken up curled around Clint with a woody at least twice meant nothing. No sexual tension. It’s not like Clint had slept around while he was here? It’s not like Clint still slept naked like an insensitive dick? It’s not his problem.

“You okay?”

“I’m fine.” Bucky gritted out.

Amy grunted. “Sure,” she sighed. “Have a good day. If you hurt our only nice neighbor, I’ll stab you with my knitting needles.”

Bucky blinked and finally looked her in the eye through her sunglasses. She was smiling and looked like a happy hamster. She hobbled away and Bucky stared after her then snorted. Right…Stab him. He started his job once again and made his way back to the safehouse.

Clint brought a dog to him the next day when he was in the archery range. It was a shaggy, rat sized mongrel. Bucky stared at it.

“That’s a rat.”

“She was in a dumpster.”

“She’s still wearing the collar from the shelter you got her from.”

Clint held her tightly against his chest both of his callused, scarred hands covering nearly her entire body. “Can I keep her?”

Bucky tossed the knife in his hand onto a table and went over to look at her. She was all black with small brown spots and she looked like a smaller version of Boogaloo.

“She have a name?”

“Electric?”

“You want to name your dogs Electric Boogaloo?”

Clint sniffled. Bucky had flashbacks to that first day when he was crying naked on the dog. He stepped in and held out an awkward hand.

Clint’s shoulders shook. “I’ve had a bad year.”

Bucky gently placed his hands on his shoulders. “Clint?”

“My dog died,” Clint sniffled.

“I know you told me.” Bucky said softly.

“He was good dog.” Clint leaned in and placed his forehead on Bucky’s shoulder. Electric made a small groan of protest being squished between them before relaxing.

“He was.” Bucky affirmed.

“Nobody, got that. I…He lost his eyesight, then his hearing, the vet said he had a brain tumor so he began to run into walls…and mutter and growl and then…he just stopped and…” Clint was clutching at him with the one hand that wasn’t holding the poor squished dog. Bucky gently took her and placed her on the ground. Clint never relented his hold on him.

“He died Bucky.” Clint sobbed.

“I know.”

“He saved me, and he died and everyone told me to get over it but he was my _dog_.” Clint cried harder and Bucky was forced to slide to the ground under the weight of his grief.

“My girlfriend left me because it was a _dog,_ and I was depressed.”

“Aw….Clint.”

Clint nuzzled into his shoulder getting his tank top covered in snot. “I miss my dog. He did so much for me.”

Bucky pulled Clint in for a hug. “You have new dogs to give to.”

“They aren’t the same. Boogaloo doesn’t eat people food and Electric has anxiety.”

Bucky ran a hand through Clint’s hair. “Hey… You’ll be good to them that’s all they need.”

Clint sat back wiping his face with a raggedy Adventure Time sweatshirt. “It’s been a shit year. My brother goes and dies, then my dog dies, Nat goes off the grid, and Kate leaves for the West Coast and I’m stuck alone in an apartment being told I’m nothing but a weapon.”

Aw, shit. Bucky tugged Clint back in squeezing him tight. Clint fell into him and clung to him tightly. It was quiet as Clint got it all out and Bucky deeply contemplated if this is why their neighbors were so protective of him. He also wondered if he should have just left the moment, he saw Barton’s face.

Clint pulled back and his eyes are red rimmed, and his hair has almost faded to his usual wheat blonde hair. He looked like shit. Bucky patted his shoulder ready to walk away and pretend this never happened when Clint swooped in for a kiss. Bucky froze for a moment gently leaning into the press of chapped lips when Clint sat back.

“Can we have sex now?” Clint said ineffectually wiping his eyes with his sweater.

Clint kissed him…. “What.”

Clint stood up still rubbing his nose and pulled off his shirt showing an impressive number of scars. “I know you’re into me.”

Clint was shirtless…. “What.”

“It’s probably because I look like the dumb bimbo version of Captain America.” Clint continued scratching a hand through the mess of hair leading from his belly button to his jeans. Bucky had never been very good at handling sex or sexual offers after Hydra. He was just too awkward he guessed. Clint was there and proposing like… wait.

“You’re into me?” Bucky asked standing up. He took off his tank top, so they’d be even for some reason.

Clint rolled his eyes and behind him Electric Boogaloo ran into a wall in the hallway. “Dude, you’re like scary hot.”

Bucky self consciously covered his chest. “Oh.”

“I mean you had your own mental break down on me and you said you were sorry about my dog that seems to make you a good person.”

Bucky uncrossed his arms. “Oh. Well, sure…I guess.”

Clint smiled at him, and Bucky refrained from putting a hand up to block the beam of sunlight that came with it.

“You like me?” Clint asked he walked closer pressing their chest together.

Bucky stared at his face. “I’d like you better not covered in snot.”

Clint flinched back flushing red and grabbed his shirt using it to blow his nose. “I should wash my face.”

Bucky nodded. “You do that, and I’ll let the dogs out.”

Clint backed out of the room. “Sex in five?”

“Deal.”

A week later Bucky was doing his weekly check for bugs and wiring, and actually found something. Several somethings. Holy shit. The entire place was bugged. He left them where they were knowing it was better to have the spies think they were oblivious than to destroy everything and run. Also, there were spies in the neighborhood…He needed to talk to Clint.

Clint worked at a small coffee stand in between a McDonalds and a Goodwill. The people there were all at least ten years younger than him but thought he was only in his early twenties. Clint had a baby face for days and hated most of his coworkers except awkward D&D loving Becka. He’d waxed poetic about her so often that Bucky was slightly concerned about his “open” behavior and whether Bucky was about to get dumped. Either way he was shocked to see Bucky there driving Clint’s blue pick up with Electric in the passenger and Boogaloo in the trunk.

“Babe!” Clint shouted coming to him.

Bucky felt a natural smile grace his face as Clint ran up and kissed his cheek.

“Do you want anything?” Clint asked. Bucky nodded and handed him a note kissing him on the cheek.

“We’re being recorded.” Bucky whispered before leaning back to scratch Electric. Clint blinked once then laughed.

“I didn’t know you had such a sweet tooth. I’ll get that all set up for you.” Clint said looking at the note with details on all the places in their house there were recorders. No, cameras thank fuck. But cameras are more noticeable and vocal records are just as good.

Clint returned back handing a cup full of whip cream for Electric and an Americano for Bucky. He stood by the drivers window holding the cup for Boogaloo out. He handed Bucky a note.

_I’ll get Amy’s and Cristie’s if you can do the Russians and Albernacky’s_

“Thanks. You’ll be the one dealing with diarrhea tonight.”

Clint socked him. “Rude.”

That night they were sitting at the kitchen island eating lasagna that Bucky made. He was a surprisingly good cook and for the last three weeks had made literally every meal Clint had at home. When he wasn’t working out, he would join Clint to watch movies which lately just devolved into making out on the couch and eventual sex over any object because the bedroom was always for the final round. Clint bought food and amenities and Bucky did literally everything else. It was wonderfully domestic. Clint worked thirty hours a week at a coffee drive thru and Bucky was his house husband taking care of the dogs and making sure everything was clean. He even remembered to do laundry when Clint usually just let it pile up until he was wearing the same shirt three days in a row. Bucky deep cleaned the entire house once a week. Which was actually him hunting for bugs because Clint lived and slept with a paranoid stalker.

He took a bite of lasagna and moaned. Naw, Bucky was the perfect boyfriend. He had to propose soon so he’d never leave.

“Wanna see a movie later?” Bucky asked picking at his own food. Clint pulled out his phone and typed in movie times nearby.

“They are replaying Hocus Pocus at the drive in’s,” Clint said around his fork.

Bucky stared at him blankly and Clint waited patiently for him to sort through a little under a hundred years of information and only twenty years of awkward self-awareness. He blinked and took an actual bite of food.

“I don’t think I’ve seen it.” He said mouth full.

“Well it’s a necessity so let’s go.” Clint said grabbing Bucky’s new burner phone and opening the Disney plus app. He pulled up Hocus Pocus and saved it so Bucky could listen while they were making house calls.

“Sounds good.” Bucky said snatching his phone back and raising an eyebrow. Clint shrugged.

“You’re in for a classic.”

They went out in the car and drove to the drive-in’s where Bucky took off the tracker and their cell phones. They drove back about a block away from their most suspicious neighbors.

“I got Christie’s house this afternoon while I watching Andy and Chris,” Clint said stretching and putting on his B&E costume.

Bucky grunted nodding. He was listening to Hocus Pocus with the most adorable furrowed brow as if he were studying it for an exam.

“That only leaves the Russians, Angie’s, Abernacky’s and Amy’s.”

“The Russians are home for the night,” Bucky said his eyes flicking to the small screen before coming back to the small bags of equipment he was making. “So, I’ll take Angie and the Albernackys.”

“Aw, babe, you’re taking all the hard work how sweet of you.” Clint said faux saccharine.

“Amy’s dogs hate me and make too much noise. They’re your problem.” Bucky said clipped shoving Clint’s equipment bag at him.

Clint shrugged snapping the canvas bag tightly over his shoulder. Bucky was right. Terry and Cruz were little yip demons. He turned to give Bucky a kiss on the cheek and scraped his lips against perma-five o’clock shadow. Must be a super soldier thing because it took Clint days to get his to grow into something.

“I’ll be back in a half hour. If you’re not here I’ll come, get you.” Bucky said wiping his cheek on his shoulder. Clint frowned. He didn’t think that Bucky would have noticed the chapstick, but nothing gets by him.

“Rodger.” He said hopping out of the car and heading out. Two minutes of fence hopping later where he scratched Electric and Boogaloo all huddled together in their shared doghousebb6 he was in Amy’s backyard. He knew they had an unlockable backdoor so slipping in was easy. It wasn’t until he was placing a bug under Amy’s work computer two rooms in that it occurred to him he couldn’t hear the dogs. Clint looked around and realized he hadn’t seen any of their cats either. Galaxy was always looking for someone to love him so it was eerie. Clint touched his hearing aid turning it up. The house creaked but there were muffled barks somewhere… A foot step!

Clint had his hand up just in time to loop his knuckles over the wire so it didn’t cut off all of his oxygen just most of it. Fuck. He was too comfortable. Super spies don’t do dumb shit like bug a house and not notice half the fucking animals were missing. The stranger pulling the wire tugged harder until Clint was forced against his chest. Amateur. You cross the wires so that you can remain at arm’s length. So that Clint can’t bash his head into the person’s nose. He ended up hitting their mouth feeling their teeth graze his scalp. Fuck! The guy loosened the wire and Clint ducked away flexing his fingers and breathing horrible ragged breaths. He touched his head and felt the wetness of blood. He just recognized it when a solid right hook caught him square in the eye. Clint caught the left one and pulled the guy in so he could kick his chest. The guy coughed jerked his hand away and grabbed his wire. Clint could hear the dogs going berserk. At least they were safe… and the stranger was about to leave. Clint picked up the first object in his range and threw it…It was a yarn ball and bounced uselessly off the strangers back. Jesus fucking Christ. Clint swiveled his head around seeing double but focusing only on the staggering amount of yarn he was surrounded by. Clint ran after the guy snatching random objects until he found a pen. He tackled the guy and stabbed the pen into their arm. Their response was to elbow Clint in the temple and knocking him out.

He blinked awake only a few seconds later to find himself alone in the house. The dogs were barking. Clint stumbled toward the garage only tripping over a few of boxes of yarn. He opened it up and found the dogs and the cats trapped in a bin that had been emptied out. It had at one point been filled with…yarn. Clint picked up the bin and dragged it back inside only opening it once he knew they wouldn’t get locked in the garage again. He sighed and slid to the floor. Galaxy the black cat purred at his ankles and Cruz was all up in his face trying to love him while Terry stuffed his face in the curve between Clint’s thigh and abdomen. Clint cuddled Cruz hoping to chill her out and absently pet the cat. He needed to get back to the car. Clint sighed and picked himself up. He walked toward the still open backdoor and let himself out into the night.

Bucky found him in the trunk bed of the truck. “Clint?” he whispered.

Clint didn’t move. “I might need stitches.”

“What?” The truck shook as Bucky hopped over the side and settled next to Clint who was lying on his back looking at the stars. He was blinded by a flashlight.

“What the fuck happened Clint?” Bucky murmured securing the flashlight so it shown on him obscuring Bucky from view.

“Someone was there before us,” Clint said. “I didn’t notice and…well.”

Bucky rummaged through the storage trunk and handed Cling something cool. He put it on his eye.

“Sit up, I need to check your head.” Bucky instructed.

Clint complied. “I definitely don’t think our enemy is Amy’s family if they were bugging them.”

Bucky’s forehead fell on Clint’s back. “Neither do I. Is there anything else you can tell me about your attacker?”

“I stabbed them in the arm with a pen!”

Bucky’s head shook and Clint guessed he was nodding. “Quick thinking, now they’re recognizable.”

Clint snorted. “I was trying to incapacitate them, but it just got me close enough for them to knock me out.”

Bucky sighed. It stunk of disappointment. “You’re not going to need stitches.”

Clint fist pumped and then screeched when Bucky put antiseptic on the open wound with no warning. He slugged Bucky in his flesh arm. “Rude.”

Clint found that Bucky was unusually gentle that night. Clint was the talker and occasionally Bucky would interject with something either insightful or so gut punching funny Clint stopped breathing. Today as Clint iced his eye in the passenger seat Bucky started talking.

“I didn’t like Hocus Pocus.”

“What? I had a crush on all those cats.” Clint paused his brain was slush from the possible concussion. “The cat…Max.”

“Seriously?”

“His actor was my type.”

Bucky was quiet for a bit. “He looks like me.”

“No. He’s like twelve in that movie. I don’t know what twelve year old Bucky Barnes looks like.” Clint’s head lolled back over the head rest.

“I’ll text Steve, he’ll agree with me.”

“Why do you want to be Max, Bucky? Do you want to Sarah Jessica Parker to make out with you?”

“That’s why I didn’t like it.” Bucky said.

“Sarah Jessica Parker? She’s the best.”

“No how much the plot depends on the fake concept of virginhood applied to children.”

Clint coughed and his throat cracked. “That’s fair.”

Bucky pulled out of their driveway barely parking. “Do you want ice cream?”

“Yeah,” Clint said.

Bucky placed a hand on Clint’s knee as he pulled into a Dairy Queen drive thru line. He pulled out his phone and texted someone. His phone immediately started ringing and he handed it to Clint.

Clint tiredly swiped open from habit then answered. “’ello?”

“I haven’t heard from you in a year and you text me to ask if you looked like a character from a Disney movie when we were kids?!”

Steve Rodgers. Captain America.

Clint held the phone to Bucky’s ear. “I totally look like that kid.” Bucky answered his usually clipped tone turning into sloppy New Yorker. He tapped the phone and Steve’s voice went on speaker.

“I don’t know…” there was some jostling. “Tony looked up a pic—holy shit!”

“I know.”

“Holy shit!”

“I know!”

“That’s sixteen-year-old you!”

Bucky turned to Clint and waggled his eyebrows. Clint snorted. Bucky hung up cutting Steve off and throwing the phone over his shoulder onto the carpet. It buzzed with follow up calls. Clint opened his mouth to comment but Bucky was ordering them Blizzards and he forgot what he was going to say in order to jump over him to order his own.

Two minutes later Clint had a spoon in his mouth and was moaning. “Thank you.” He said popping the spoon out of his mouth to scoop more soft serve into his mouth.

“No problem.” Bucky said licking a metal thumb.

Clint looked at him really looked at him eyes focusing and all. Bucky’s expression was his thousand yard stare with more puppy than anything else. Clint threw his cup into the cup holder that sat in the back of the truck. Bucky looked up and Clint sidled into his lap picking up his own cup and putting next to his own with an easy toss.

Bucky wasn’t looking at him. Clint settled in leaning against the wheel and arching his back so he didn’t hit the horn. He tilted his head.

“What’s wrong?”

Bucky’s lips pursed. “We have to leave.”

Clint blinked. “We can’t. We’ve compromised the MacDuff’s. If we suddenly disappear they’re going to be collateral.”

“You got hurt.”

“I got complacent.”

“You like it here.”

“So do you.”

Bucky was silent. His shoulders up to his ears. “We have to leave eventually.”

Clint swallowed. “Well, yeah but that doesn’t mean we can’t have this in BedStuy.”

Bucky finally looked up at him. “Yeah.”

Clint could not say no to those adorable puppy eyes. “Of course. Me, you, and Electric Boogaloo.”

Bucky smiled. One of his rare real, sincere smiles that broke Clint’s heart in half. Clint kissed him.

“Let’s go home and make a plan for booby-traps.” Clint said between kisses. “Then you take me to bed, and we play with your left arm.”

“Not tonight you have a concussion.”

Clint stuck his hand down Bucky’s pants. “I’ll live.”

Bucky grunted in affirmation. “You’ll live.”

Clint came over to Amy’s house to tutor her youngest son in Physics. It was his usual time late afternoon and right after he walked in he heard Amy gasp.

“What happened to you?” she asked.

Clint slapped a hand on his neck then remembered that Bucky was meticulous about where he put hickey’s. He was a superspy. A superfreak of a spy. He squinted at the plump woman who was walking her way over and was hit with sudden pain in his eye. Oh. Right. Someone tried to murder him last night in this house.

“I fell.”

Amy faltered. “You fell and got a perfect black eye.”

“Yeah,” Clint croaked flinching as his throat caught.

“And strangled.”

Clint laughed backing up. “It was down a flight stairs.”

Amy’s eyes narrowed. “How’s Tanner doing?”

Clint smirked. “Good.”

Amy placed a hand on her hip and Clint found a box of oreo’s sitting on their very dirty kitchen counter. He opened it up and took a couple out already stuffing one into his face. He wondered if Bucky would sleep with him if he ever got fat. He ate another cookie.

“Has he ever hurt you?”

Clint snorted flinching as his throat scraped together again. “Not that he can remember.”

Amy’s eyes became saucers behind her glasses. Clint’s eyes widened along with hers. Oh no.

“We…It’s not…There’s… He’s… Kevin needs my help. I’m gonna go… Clint fled the kitchen and tripped over both Terry and Crews to get to Kevin’s room and away from the inept interrogation that he still somehow failed.

Bucky spent a day removing bugs since _they_ knew that they knew that they knew they were being watched. Then he spent the rest of the day setting up traps and making instructions because the last thing he wanted was his incredibly stupid boyfriend getting hit with a taser.

When Clint came home to a quick and ugly stir fry Bucky cooked up out of boredom, he looked…rattier than usual. Bucky didn’t have the time or energy to deal. Tomorrow he was scheduled for his weekly run and Clint had a full shift at his coffee stop. Hopefully, the idiotic spies would get caught but he doubted it.

Later that night Clint rolled over and cuddled close which was…Odd. Post coital they let the dogs in and they made a barrier. Clint cutting the barrier to wrap an arm around his waist.

“I’m warning you now Amy might murder you tomorrow.”

Bucky tried to hide his laughter.

Clint put his chin on Bucky’s shoulder. “What?”

“I killed JFK, you think a little round Mrs. Claus lady will fucking murder me?” Bucky said between bursts of laughter.

Clint stuffed his head between Bucky’s shoulders and blew a raspberry. Bucky turned around to pin Clint and then Boogaloo jumped on him with Electric yipping towards the bottom of the bed. Their wrestling match led to the dogs being kicked out and not getting to sleep until much too late.

Bucky jogged the next morning his wireless ear buds hearing their neighbors argue and pad around waiting for his alarm to go off. Boogaloo loped next to him and Electric was tucked into his hoodie after giving up in the first mile. They saw Amy and waved slowing.

“Morning,” Bucky panting putting on the airs of exhaustion.

Amy poked him in the ribs with a metal knitting needle.

“Ow! What the fuck?”

“Why. Did. You. Hurt. Carl.” Amy said stabbing him for emphasis on each word.

Bucky covered Electric to make sure she didn’t get stabbed on accident. Amy went in for anther stab and bent her needle.

They both stared at the needle. She looked between it and him. Bucky debated whether he’d be able to run at full speed while carrying Boogaloo with no injuries.

Amy grabbed his arm and pulled up the sleeve of his hoodie exposing a metal arm. “I knew it!”

Bucky took his arm away. He was letting a little old lady touch him. _Complacent._ That’s what Clint said.

Bucky rolled his eyes and quickly wrapped Amy’s scarf over her mouth and lifted her knowing her stupid little dogs would follow him as he dragged her and four dogs to a quiet area of the park.

“You’re…” she gasped.

Bucky held his metal hand over her mouth so she could feel every groove of the plates screaming danger.

“If you say another word about what you saw and who you saw, SHIELD will lock you and your family in a corner of a gray facility for the rest of your life.”

Amy glared at him blandly. She didn’t believe it. Fine.

“Your neighbors who are currently spying on us and you will torture you for information.”

Her eyes widened, “Keep your mouth shut. Also, I didn’t hurt _Carl._ ”

Amy rolled her eyes. Bucky let her go grabbing her dogs leashes and handing them to her hands up.

“I know he’s Hawkguy.”  
“Eye.”

“What?”

Bucky turned around ignoring her and continued his jog. Fuck. Fuck. Fuck. They can’t leave. Fuck.

Clint came home to Bucky laying on the couch and piles of fun sized candy wrappers surrounding him. Clint sat down on his legs and grabbed a Snickers.

“Good day?”

“I got stabbed with a knitting needle.” Bucky mumbled.

“Ah.”

“Did you really tell the MacDuff’s I beat you?” Bucky said pushing himself up.

Clint choked on his chocolate and then teared up at the burn in his throat from being choked by not shitty spies. “No. It was implied.”

Bucky got off the couch. “The fuck?”

“Look, I said some dumb things, and was mostly thinking about sex and the dogs and that one time when you were Hydra, where we had a rendezvous in Milan… Amy came to her own conclusions.”

“Rendezvous?”

“You threw me off a three-story building before Natasha seduced you or something.”

Bucky sat down next to him. “Do you really think I’d hurt your?”

Clint chewed slowly around a Milkyway. “Of course not. You’re beating around the bush.”

“Am not!”

Clint threw a tiny dark chocolate three Musketeers at Bucky’s head. Bucky picked it up and popped it into his mouth.

“Fine. She knows about us.”

“We introduced ourselves as boyfriends.”

“ _Us_.” Bucky said holding out his nice shiny metal arms.

“Ah.” Clint said.

“We are the worst spies.”

Clint shrugged and handed Bucky a Peanut M&M’s. “We can fix this.”

“Someone’s going to die.” Bucky groaned opening up the tiny bag.

“It’ll be fun.” Clint said.

“We need to bug the Russians tonight.” Bucky sighed.

Clint aimed a red M&M. Bucky caught his eye and then opened his mouth so that Clint could toss it in. Bucky aimed a blue M&M and their game devolved until they were throwing M&M’s from across the entire house before they reached to tossing them across the street.

Bucky and Clint were dressed and ready to totally bug their least suspicious neighbors, mostly seen washing cars and fixing cars. Clint whispered in his ear. “What did you do in Russia?”

Bucky turned to him in the middle of his lock picking. He had pliers ready to unplug the alarm system and the remote police call. They were literally the most conspicuous at three am and he’s asking what Bucky did in **REDACTED**.

He didn’t answer and clicked open the door. The alarm began ticking and Bucky did a cursory search of traps before stepping in. He took off the casing and then pulled at a few wires. The house went dead silent. The air conditioning stopped. The electricity stopped.

“Oh no.” Clint whispered.

Bucky sighed. He wasn’t used to home safety systems but as this whole ordeal has taught him…he’s the worst spy.

Red blaring lights came on and a metal sheet slammed over the front door. Bucky judge the thickness of it and decided that yes he could punch through it if necessary.

“Oh no.” Clint said pulling out his bow and notching an arrow. Bucky walked out through the hallway and into the living room only to find six pajama clad Russian spies. They looked similar. Too similar.

“Is this some _Flowers in the Attic_ shit?” Clint asked aiming behind Bucky.

Bucky sighed and was struck from the side with something definitively inhuman. It smashed him through the wall separating the living room and the kitchen. Once he landed with the creature on him, he smashed his hand through it’s skull and felt the fizzle of electricity bounce through his bones. AIM. These are AIM bots. Bucky kicked off the electric dog and stood up shaking off the rubble.

“AIM.” Bucky called. Clint was surrounded by four identical little AIM bots. “What,” He called out kicking a child looking bot in the head.

“They’re AIM bots, Haw—” Bucky was cut off by another robot animal tackling him. This time it threw him through the kitchen window into the alley way between their house and Amy MacDuff.

Bucky caught the bull by its horns and was shoved through the fences separating the two houses. He turned its head sideways forcing its body onto the ground. It kicked and he shoved it down with his right arm and then punched through its shitty steel alloy until he reached its power pack and could rip it out. He stood up and turned to see Amy, her husband Mitch, and their two kids staring at him on their patio. Bucky waved.

“You might want to—” he was hit with a mechanical lion this time. “ _Fuck!”_

Bucky stuck his left arm into it’s jaw. It crunched down and Bucky grabbed the lion’s ear and tugged it’s grip didn’t loosen.

“Soldier!” Clint called from far away.

“Here!” Bucky said kicking the clawed paws away from his legs.

A metal bat swung down from nowhere and startled the lion into loosening its grip. Bucky was able to grab the hinge and the top of its jaw and pull breaking it in half. He stuffed his left arm down its throat breaking through the fragile wires and microchips to get at the energy pack lodged in its core. He ripped out covered in oil and broken bits of plastic. He looked up and saw Mitch holding the bat. He held it out and Bucky took it. He saluted and set himself up to bat away the child bot running away from Clint. He knocked its head clean off and it seemed like they were done.

Clint walked through the holes created by Bucky and the robot bull to join him and the MacDuff’s in the back yard. Clint scratched the back of his head and Bucky set down the bat and leaned over his knees to take a breath and take stock.

“You’re bleeding,” Clint said.

Bucky touched his temple. “Yeah.” He looked Clint up and down. “So are you.”

Clint grunted and walked over to sit down next to him. Bucky collapsed on the ground with a groan.

“We’re going to have to call SHIELD.” Clint said.

Bucky fell back on the browning grass of their neighbors back yard and stuck a hand down the back of his jeans.

“Here,” he said tossing an emergency communicator to Clint.

Clint held it up to his mouth then looked at the family staring at them slack jawed. He smiled and waved. “Thanks for the gloves, Amy.” Then called in their location.

Bucky and Clint sat with Electric and Boogaloo across from Steve and Maria Hill at the closest SHIELD agency in the area.

“So…” Steve said. “Why are there photos of you guys throwing M&M’s to each other in the street?”

Bucky had several bruised ribs and other lacerations from being thrown through wood, plaster, glass, wire fencing and dirt. Clint had broken his nose and sprained his wrist with other bruises and lacerations from fighting three AIMbots. They looked at each other.

“It was a game,” Clint said. Bucky was refusing to answer. He’d embarrassed himself enough with this entire ordeal by being the worst spy and there being several instagrams and TikTok’s that Clint uploaded of their various competitions and games.

Maria tapped her fingers along the very large paper folder detailing everything that happened on Mountain Avenue between Hawkeye and the Winter Soldier. “You're telling me your neighbors saw you throwing M&M’s to each other from across the street?”

“Yeah.”

Maria pinched the bridge of her nose. Steve closed his eyes and sighed through his nose in _the_ most patronizing fashion. Clint opened his mouth to defend them but Bucky held up his hand. He bent down and picked up Electric setting her on his lap and she stopped whining.

“You’re telling me, an entire AIM institute was sitting right under a protected SHIELD safe house in a civilian surrounded area,” Bucky said. “That’s considered endangering the population Agent Hill.”

Hill set her head on her arms, admitting defeat. Steve sighed aloud his head tipping back and the prayer to god unsaid but heard well enough.

Clint clapped his hands together leaning over the table like Michael Scott. “Let’s turn this PR nightmare into a PR dream. Yeah?”

“What do you propose Agent Barton?” Maria said not moving her head.

“The east coast has been privy to Avengers abilities and I think it’s time we set up a West Coast Avengers.”

Maria looked up. “Who’s gonna run it?”

“Me and Bucky obviously.” Clint answered confidently. “We head over to the West Coast, say the debacle in an Orange County suburb was a show of a new Avengers initiative having two veteran members coach and teach the Young Avengers on the West.”

Steve sighed loudly again. “Fine,” he groaned. “That’s fine.”

Maria rubbed her forehead. “Jesus fucking Christ we haven’t seen a clusterfuck this big since Hydra took over two thirds of the department.”

Bucky shrugged. “I didn’t almost murder two thirds of the Avengers this time so let’s call it a win.”

Steve scrubbed his face. “I hate you so much.”

Bucky held out Electric. “Here, have a dog.”

Clint woke up to the sun in his face. He thanked Stark for setting them up in a beachside bungalow and then turned around to stuff his face into Bucky’s spinal cord so his cheeks were cushioned by back muscles.

Bucky hummed.

“Good morning,” Clint muttered to Bucky’s back.

“G’mornin’” Bucky greeted.

Electric stuffed her cold little nose behind Clint's knee and he flinched curling closer to Bucky. “What do you want to do?”

Bucky leaned over Boogaloo, dragging Clint still sticking to him like an octopus, and grabbed his communicator.

“It says here that we have to report to the West Coast site to fill out reports,” Bucky said.

“We’re staying home.” Clint said snuggling in closer.

Bucky moved around sneaking an arm around Clint. “Sounds, good.”

“Let’s go for a run,” Clint said feeling drowsy.

“Yeah,” Bucky said around a yawn.

The nearby ocean’s waves washed over them.

“And have sex.” Clint continued.

“Hm…”

“And clean the bathroom…”

“Mm-hm.”

“And sleep in.” Clint finished.

Bucky answered with a snore and Clint listened to his breath before falling back to sleep himself.


End file.
